About the book:
From the Escaping Toxic Guilt website:
“Do you feel responsible for everyone around you? Do you value the feeling of others more than your own? Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself: Then you may be trapped by toxic guilt.
Trying to win the approval of others—parents, spouse, coworkers, friends, children—can strain your relationships, drain your energy, and dominate your life. The five easy-to-follow steps in Escaping Toxic Guilt can liberate you from self-defeating patterns and put you on the path to living life fully, joyfully, and on your own terms.
By following this simple, effective plan, you will be able to:
* Recognize the difference between good guilt and toxic guilt
* Build boundaries around your time and emotions
* Weather the storm of people’s disapproval
* Find freedom through forgiveness and relinquishing control
* Protect your sense of self while still caring for others”
My Take:
At first glance, I thought this was going to be a “Feel-good” book that would encourage the reader to be self-absorbed; but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Escaping Toxic Guilt is a thoughtful, compassionate read that emphasizes the importance of caring for ourselves as well as for others. Indeed, people with a healthy sense of boundaries are actually able to assist others more. Carrell offers a measured and balanced approach to standing your ground and learning the difference between healthy and unhealthy guilt. Avoiding actions that would harm another is an example of “healthy guilt”; allowing others to take advantage of you because you fear their disapproval is definitely not healthy. Since Carrell specializes in couples therapy, much of this book centers on relationship troubles – however, there are many relevant points about everyday problems as well. With so many of us overextended with work projects, extracurricular activities, and social obligations, I think this is a highly relevant topic for today’s culture. I particularly liked her emphasis on language (saying “No” and meaning it) and on establishing healthy boundaries. This book is not about shirking your responsibilities, and I think it offers a well-rounded perspective on weighing up tricky situations and making a decision that will be the most beneficial to all parties. If you are dealing with major problems, one book will not fix them; but becoming more self-aware could be helpful to someone as they seek further help. And for an individual who is not facing a big life crisis, but is feeling overwhelmed by trying to do too much, I think this could be a thought-provoking read.
Giveaway Time!
One Contest Corner reader will win a copy of Escaping Toxic Guilt. Here’s how to enter:
1. For your first entry, leave a comment telling me why you’d like to win this book.
This step is required to qualify for the drawing. Be sure to leave an email address with your comment, so that I may notify you in the event that you are the lucky winner!
Want extra entries? Do any of the following, and leave a separate comment for each one:2. Check out the Escaping Toxic Guilt website and leave a comment telling me something you learned.
3. Write a post on your blog linking to this giveaway and Escaping Toxic Guilt. Then come back here and leave me the link!
4. Write about this on Twitter, then come back and leave me the link to your tweet!
5. Subscribe to my blog updates by entering your email into the “Subscribe” box in the sidebar. Then come back and leave me the email you subscribed with!
6. Become a follower of my blog by clicking the “Follow” button in my sidebar! Then come back here and let me know in a separate comment!
7. Post my button on your website – just copy and paste the following code, and let me know where you put it:
8. Anyone who donates a Lifestraw qualifies for an extra entry into all my giveaways during August – click here for more details.
Rules, regulations, and other important stuff: Giveaway ends on August 23rd at 11:59 PM, PST. Winner will be chosen the following day via Random.org. Winner has 48 hours to respond to my notification email, or a new winner will be chosen in their place. Giveaway is open to US residents.
I would like to win this because I am the type of person who feels guilty about things I havent even done like its my own fault. Because of that I have severe anxiety problems.
throuthehaze at gmail dot com
subscriber
throuthehaze at gmail dot com
follower
throuthehaze at gmail dot com
I’d like to win this book because I do tend to beat myself up over stuff I really had no control over to begin with.
spitfyr323 at hotmail dot com
I’m a subscriber!
spitfyr323 at hotmail dot com
I’d like to win this because I feel like I need to read it. I do tend to have unrealistic expectations of myself..
I would like to win this because I feel guilty all the time.
bjhopper(at)me(dot)com
Email subscriber
bjhopper(at)me(dot)com
Your button is on my sidebar
http://freebies4meandu.blogspot.com
bjhopper(at)me(dot)com
tweet
http://twitter.com/bridget3420/status/3234604251
bjhopper(at)me(dot)com
Blogged
http://bridget3420.blogspot.com/2009/08/810-book-giveaway-list-2.html
I’d love to win so I could read this book and learn how to not feel guilty! Thanks for the chance!
coolnatty12@yahoo.com
I am now following your blog! Thanks!
coolnatty12@yahoo.com
This looks like a fascinating read! Please enter me!
BethsBookReviewBlog AT gmail DOT com
I’m a follower.
BethsBookReviewBlog AT gmail DOT com
I grew up in a very guilt centric family, I think this book would an enlightening read.
Thanks for hosting this giveaway.
jake.lsewhere[at]gmail.com
I’m also a follower via Google Friend Connect.
Thanks for hosting this giveaway.
jake.lsewhere[at]gmail.com
I have what I call a guilt complex, and those who know me know how to use it! It creates for a very stressful life…
We’ve posted about this giveaway at Winning Readings:
http://winningreadings.blogspot.com/2009/08/escaping-toxic-guilt.html
janemaritz at yahoo dot com
I wrote about this on Twitter!
http://twitter.com/natdey/status/3278428098
coolnatty12@yahoo.com
I learned on the site that they have Escape Tactics for Moms, Relationships, and Blended Families. It’s good to talk to someone about your feelings! Thanks!
coolnatty12@yahoo.com
I am subscribing by e-mail!
coolnatty12@yahoo.com
I have your button on my blog!
http://theadventuresofpaulnatalie.blogspot.com/
coolnatty12@yahoo.com
I wrote a blog! Thanks!
http://theadventuresofpaulnatalie.blogspot.com/2009/08/escaping-toxic-guilt-book-giveaway-ends.html
coolnatty12@yahoo.com
I would love to win this book so I can learn to cope or conquer my guilt better! Thanks for the chance!
monkeyami1@msn.com
I’m a new subscriber!
monkeyami1@msn.com
I learned off the website that the author does presentations about: 1. Parenting Teens
2. Couples and Conflict
3. Toxic Guilt
Thanks! monkeyami1@msn.com
I have your button!
http://cdhawaiianoasis.blogspot.com
monkeyami1@msn.com
I follow your blog!
monkeyami1@msn.com
I would love to win this book because I am sometimes a little hard on myself
lkish77123 at gmail dot com
I tweeted!
http://twitter.com/monkeyami/status/3435774396
monkeyami1@msn.com
I blogged! Thanks!
http://cdhawaiianoasis.blogspot.com/2009/08/escaping-toxic-guilt-book-giveaway.html
monkeyami1@msn.com
I would love to win this for my mom as she seems to suffer from Toxic Guilt.
ldsmom2201 at yahoo dot com
The Happy Wife
Homeschool Unit Studies
This reading would really interest me. Thanks for the wonderful giveaway.
dianad8008 AT gmail DOT com