Escaping Toxic Guilt: Review & Giveaway

About the book:

From the Escaping Toxic Guilt website:

“Do you feel responsible for everyone around you? Do you value the feeling of others more than your own? Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself: Then you may be trapped by toxic guilt.

Trying to win the approval of others—parents, spouse, coworkers, friends, children—can strain your relationships, drain your energy, and dominate your life. The five easy-to-follow steps in Escaping Toxic Guilt can liberate you from self-defeating patterns and put you on the path to living life fully, joyfully, and on your own terms.

By following this simple, effective plan, you will be able to:

* Recognize the difference between good guilt and toxic guilt
* Build boundaries around your time and emotions
* Weather the storm of people’s disapproval
* Find freedom through forgiveness and relinquishing control
* Protect your sense of self while still caring for others”

My Take:

At first glance, I thought this was going to be a “Feel-good” book that would encourage the reader to be self-absorbed; but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Escaping Toxic Guilt is a thoughtful, compassionate read that emphasizes the importance of caring for ourselves as well as for others. Indeed, people with a healthy sense of boundaries are actually able to assist others more. Carrell offers a measured and balanced approach to standing your ground and learning the difference between healthy and unhealthy guilt. Avoiding actions that would harm another is an example of “healthy guilt”; allowing others to take advantage of you because you fear their disapproval is definitely not healthy. Since Carrell specializes in couples therapy, much of this book centers on relationship troubles – however, there are many relevant points about everyday problems as well. With so many of us overextended with work projects, extracurricular activities, and social obligations, I think this is a highly relevant topic for today’s culture. I particularly liked her emphasis on language (saying “No” and meaning it) and on establishing healthy boundaries. This book is not about shirking your responsibilities, and I think it offers a well-rounded perspective on weighing up tricky situations and making a decision that will be the most beneficial to all parties. If you are dealing with major problems, one book will not fix them; but becoming more self-aware could be helpful to someone as they seek further help. And for an individual who is not facing a big life crisis, but is feeling overwhelmed by trying to do too much, I think this could be a thought-provoking read.

Giveaway Time!

One Contest Corner reader will win a copy of Escaping Toxic Guilt. Here’s how to enter:

1. For your first entry, leave a comment telling me why you’d like to win this book.

This step is required to qualify for the drawing. Be sure to leave an email address with your comment, so that I may notify you in the event that you are the lucky winner!

Want extra entries? Do any of the following, and leave a separate comment for each one:

2. Check out the Escaping Toxic Guilt website and leave a comment telling me something you learned.
3. Write a post on your blog linking to this giveaway and Escaping Toxic Guilt. Then come back here and leave me the link!
4. Write about this on Twitter, then come back and leave me the link to your tweet!
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